I love golf…….. not playing, and not watching it! I love it because it is the subject of most hilarious jokes. Often these are very plausible. I love the sheer frivolity of the golfer’s life style and the sincerity with which they devote their whole lives to it.
Imagine getting up at 5.00 am in Delhi’s winters so that you can tee off at 6.30 am ……….. I have always avoided getting up before 8.00 unless it’s a matter of life and death.
Spending a life time chasing a small ball ………… much better than chasing or mooning over a sweet heart. Moreover golfers have no dearth of topics to talk about …….. nearly 14 irons, different type of balls …, the slice, the pull and 18 holes and all that lies in between and around it. The fairways interest them more than the fair faces ……… and then different nooks and corners are so engrossing and not for the reasons that we common folks have for exploring them.
Here is one of the golf jokes from net, it demonstrates the single minded devotion of a golfer….. who had been stranded on a desert island . . . . . . all alone for ten years.
One day he sees an unusual speck on the horizon. “It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes this drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guy and says to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
“Ten years” replies the stunned man.
She unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it and after a long drag exclaims “Man oh man! That is so good!”
“How long has it been since you’ve had a sip of scotch?” the lady asks him.
Trembling, the castaway replies: “Ten years!”
She unzips another waterproof pocket on her right sleeve …. pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says “Wow, that’s absolutely fantastic!”
At this point, she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at him seductively and asks, “And how long has it been since you’ve played around?”
With tears in his eyes the guy falls to his knees and says.
“Oh God!! Don’t tell me yo!u’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
My tributes to all those dedicated golfers out there!!
I love watching my boss best, setting up to tee off – his belly is too big for him to set his tee ….. so the caddy does it for him. He takes the huge driver stands well away from the ball bends his knee then wriggles his behind …….. watches the ball then remembers to set the line of his drive and points his driver towards the first hole and repeats the whole tedium of taking stance ( wriggles his fat bottom again) and starts his swing ………..the whole thing looks as if different part of his body had suddenly revolted and decided to take the four different directions……….. finally he brings his club down to hit the ball ……… now don’t look for it soaring upwards ……………. u would find it just rolling a few meters down the fairway!!
Golf isn’t a game, it’s a choice that one makes with one’s life.
In case you are a golfer and have read this ………. please do not take offense ….. this is just for fun and golfers are gentle folks – they know how to laugh at themselves. 🙂