The Sunday yarn ~ India’s English

I was in a strange land and could not find a familiar face among the strangely dressed crowd.  I did not know this place but had a sense of déjà –vu. I did not even remember why I was here. This disorientation was very disturbing.

‘You Babu,  there’ ………. I heard a voice, but did not pay any attention.

‘There were more shouts of Babu………… ‘ I ignored them – trying to recognize a face in the crowd.

A hand landed on my shoulders and I saw a burly gentleman in Victorian clothing ….. ‘You deaf or plain ill mannered – Babu’

‘My name is Aesop not Babu’  …….. I knew he had mistaken me for some one (interesting to know that I had a look alike).

‘I know your name is not Babu ……. Its your breed !  All you Indians are Babus (the word means a clerk in hindi) ……… I ensured it.’ He looked some where over my head.  ‘You all are called my Children ie  people born of Indian ancestry who adopt  and display western attitudes.’

I was dumbstruck and waited for an explanation!

‘I am THOMAS BABINGTON MACAULAY – Lord Macaulay ‘  He proudly stated. ‘ I am the person responsible for India’s current status in world today’.

‘Oh,  that Macaulay  – the one who fostered English on us ………’  I

‘Yes some people do take that attitude an blame me for all the ills that Indians suffers from.’ He looked sad.

I could not help but smirk.

His anger was reflected on his face and he sarcastically interjected ‘ I do not expect you to understand these things Babu,  but just for a change try to think …..  you would not have – a  constitution, or IPC (criminal law), or IPL (cricket)  but for me and my children.’

I was truly impressed  … there would be no IPL  –  True, cricket in India was promoted by Mac’s children.

‘and  you all would not be the first among the geeks without my children, and all the traders amongst you would still be fleecing you all instead of poor from all over the globe.’ He was really het up now…

‘do you even start to imagine the  good that I have done to india, US, Britain and many other countries – but for me the English would still be  on fish and chips and would never even have heard of chicken tikka curry and rice, and those incompetent Americans would still be using the Red Indian remedies for their ailments ……. And who would be supplying the antiretroviral drugs to the indiscriminating Africans…….. it is a long list’ he had regained some of his composure.

‘yeah……. We should rate you as one of the great Macs, same as McDonalds and Macdowell ‘ I responded.

‘That’s  below the belt, Babu’  he sounded annoyed. ‘I should be remembered for   the Indian Penal Code was later reproduced in most other  places and to date many of these laws are still in effect in places as far apart as Singapore, Bangla Desh, Sri Lanka,   Nigeria and Zimbabwe.’

‘You may not know but in 1841, I addressed the issue of copyright. It (copyright) is a monopoly and  generally  have negative effects on society. My  approach with minor modifications became the basis of  copyright law in the English-speaking world.’ He stopped to take a breath.

‘Is it  true that  Karl Marx referred to you as a  – systematic falsifier of history. ‘ and is it not rue that finally your version of british history is considered as a whig  spin.’ I taunted him.

The great man simply turned and walked off.

The doorbell was chiming …………… I had dozed off.

This is the full blog that I promised to post on last edition of Friday Fictioneers  ~ Between the books

  

I love arguments

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